Is your Grandparenting a Blessing or Painful?

Grandparenting is a special blessing but can also be a pain. Messy family relationships can leave grandparents hurting, depressed, discouraged, and hopeless.  Divorce, drugs, alcohol, and adult children walking away from their faith cause broken hearts for grandparents.

Grandparents are always excited when they learn they are going to be grandparents especially when they there waiting for their first grandchild to be born. The average age of first-time grandparents is around age 47.

The babies are so cute and loveable. My friend, Susan enjoyed just watching her precious baby granddaughter sleep so peacefully. Her smiles warmed her heart, and later she loved to hear her laughing. Then she became a toddler running into her arms and bringing her so much joy. I could hardly wait to teach her about Jesus and take her to church. Then she was told by her son, “We do not want you to talk to her about Jesus”. Susan and her husband’s hearts melted. They had been waiting for the opportunity to teach her about their faith. This story is repeated often. Many grandparents have been told they are not to teach their grandchildren about Jesus.

One grandparent told me that her son said to her that she could not see her grandchild again because the child told him “Grandma wants to take me to Sunday school”. He didn’t believe in God anymore, so he didn’t want his child to learn about Jesus. Closed doors to grandchildren cause broken hearts and relationships.

I have a friend whose son and his girlfriend had a 14-month boy. They went on a trip for a couple of days and left the baby with the girlfriend’s parents. They both died in a car accident. Since the girlfriend’s parents were caring for the child, they thought they were in charge of the child and alienated the father’s parent’s time with the child. The father’s parents had to go to court to be able to have time with the child to teach him about Jesus.

The pain is very difficult because it causes a rift between the child’s parent and the grandparents. The grandparent loses one of its greatest joys of life. The hurt is compounded when there is a spiritual separation between the child’s parent and the grandparent. When an adult child rejects his parent’s faith, the parents feel a rejection of the adult child.

The pain is suffocating. Alienation is painful and takes a significant toll on grandparents, especially as their friends are enjoying their grandchildren. A grandparent’s pain is often private; they feel as they have failed in raising their adult child causing a reflection on themselves. Or the grandchild’s parents are going through a divorce, and your adult child does not get custody, making it more difficult to have time with the grandchild.

I am thankful I am not an estranged grandparent, but my heart breaks when I hear the stories of my loved ones.

 Broken-hearted/Estranged grandparents have two choices: 

1.    They think they can walk away from the pain and fill their lives with other things, but the pain will still be there.

2.    They can pray, asking God for direction and peace as they seek His guidance for reconciliation.

Continue reading my next blog part #2 “Is your Grandparenting a Blessing or Painful”?” on Monday, March 16.

This blog is taken from the book, Grandparenting with a Purpose: Effective Ways to Pray for your Grandchildren. The book is available on this website for a discounted price of $15.00 including shipping. The book will encourage you, challenge you, and give you many suggestions to intentionally pray for your dear grandchildren of all ages.

By Lillian Penner, Church Relations Coordinator for Christian Grandparenting Network, lpenner@christiangrandparenting.net